Demi-Gods

daegoth @ 2005-02-04T20:42:00

2005-02-05T02:43:20Z

This journal is dead. I will leave it here to rot.

Stop by. Add me to your friends list and I'll add you to mine. I'll be transfering some of my old posts to my new journal. Just some of my shitting writings. Nothing big.

Goodbye.

daegoth @ 2005-02-03T23:58:00

2005-02-04T06:25:26Z

Angels are falling, I hear the gods calling
Devil behind clouded eyes
Burning, the madness is rising in me
I cannot describe what I see
It's all on fire, a funeral pyre, the world's final light
Consumed by the darkness, I cannot beleive this
The devil is inside of me
Satan is screaming, a call for more bloodshed
He raises my hand in the air
I'm a tool for the darkness, a host of the madness
Behold, the Anarchist

[This song will be completed at a later date]

daegoth @ 2005-02-03T23:45:00

2005-02-04T05:49:27Z

If I could rip you apart and drain every drop of blood from your severed body, I would. If I could destroy your life and take from you all that you love, I would. If I could make your life Hell and make you hate today and fear tomorrow, I would. If I could take what little dignity you had and crush it beneath my heel, I would. If I could rip the bullshit from your mind and hold it before you to realize your ingorance, I would.

If I could hold you in the cold of the night and warm you with the love of a kiss, I would.

daegoth @ 2005-01-31T22:30:00

2005-02-01T04:44:59Z

Been practicing on my guitar a lot lately...
I can now play the intros to Enter Sandman, Dirty Black Summer, N.I.B., Twist of Cain.
Once I get my amp working I'll start working on Slayer, Opeth, and Testament. I've got part of For Absent Friends down, but it sounds terrible on the sorry excuse for a guitar I currently own. I'm going to buy a Warlock from this place near my house. It's purple, but it's nice.

I'm going to try to get a picture of me that doesn't suck tomorrow. That should be interesting.
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I've been awake for three days now. Living off coffee, cigarettes, and frozen pizza. It's a shitty way to live, but that's how things go. So what the hell.

Last week, I killed a game. I killed Resident Evil 4. I beat it 4 times in the same week I bought it. One of those times, I beat it in one sitting. That was the last time I beat it. The final completion took me 5:30 hours I think. I have obtained the Chicago Typewriter (Machine-gun with infinite ammo that fires .45 bullets, each doing 10.0 damage), and the Infinite Launcher (if you can't guess what it is, then fuck off). With these two weapons RE4 becomes...not quite so fun. It's great when you first get them and spank those infested Spaniard bastards, but after an hour of it...bleh. Still a great game.

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In more recent news, I've been home 'sick' for a week. No school. Huzzah.

daegoth @ 2005-01-31T22:22:00

2005-02-01T04:23:40Z

I eat Mexicans.

daegoth @ 2005-01-31T02:58:00

2005-01-31T08:59:32Z

Okay. Puked again. Yay.
What was I saying?
Oh yeah...

I feel like shit.

This was going to go deeper, but I just can't think. God dammit. I miss you.

daegoth @ 2005-01-31T02:52:00

2005-01-31T08:54:46Z

This is my life tonight. I feel like shit. Drinking coffee and smoking Camels. I feel like

I was just about to finish that sentence "shit." Then start a new one saying "I feel like I'm about to puke."
But I puked. Sorry for the inconvieniance. I shall return in a few momments after I clean up.

[To be continued]

Something I never got around to saying...

2005-01-31T08:43:18Z

A few weeks ago I woke up in a cold sweat. I remember looking over to my clock. It was like 2:30AM or some ungodly hour like that. I wiped the sweat from my forhead, which was enough to soak my hand. I layed back into my bed. My sheets were damp. I guess I'd been sweating for a while. My stomach was kind of hurting. I rested my head on my wet pillow and looked at the ceiling and tried to go back to sleep. At that momment, pain erupted from my stomach. I exhaled deeply and way too fast. I got light-headed from the sudden loss of oxygen. I curled up holding my stomach. My room had been silent before, but I swear that I heard guitars. Sounded like Slayer, but no song that I could recognize. After a few minutes of holding my stomach I finally just sprawled myself out on my bed. I stared at the ceiling as this terrible pain ate through my entire torso. I started just moving around. Rolling onto my side. Reaching for objects that weren't there. I was sweating terribley now. I was so out of it. All I remember is moving around and reaching out...and the laughter. I heard laughter. It sounded like the generic 'demonic' laughter you hear in movies and games and such. The guitars and the laughter. The pain was so terrible. I don't remember when it all stopped. I think I may have just passed out.

I just...I don't know. I wanted to post this.

daegoth @ 2005-01-31T02:23:00

2005-01-31T08:31:55Z

I've grown...matured. Become independant. Learned uncounted lessons of love and loss. My path to this state has been long and hard. And all for one goal that is, ultimately, unreachable. Or so it seems to be. Every night I pray to the nothingness above me for a chance. Just to speak once more. Let that soul here me once more. Let that soul give me one last judgement. That soul, which I love and cherish and once held in my hands, trying to protect it only to have it shatter before me, is no greater now than it ever was. I never worshipped that soul. I never held that soul to be greater than any other. But I did love it. That soul is still broken. I know it is. I can feel it...

Shards of that soul lay in pools of bloody memories everywhere I go. I wish to speak with this soul. Not for love, but for a mutual comfort. Is it in vain? I fear it is.

I broke that soul. I want to help peice it back together, in any way I can.
And should it already be whole again, I just wish to see it once more. That whole, unshattered soul. The soul I once cared for so much that I became but a gnat to the soul. I tried to hard. The soul needed to breathe.

I'm sorry I suffocated you, black entity. Black soul.

A brief return to the past...

2005-01-30T07:29:58Z

Everything I love is gone
Peace becomes my disowned son
Every time I breathe, I bleed
Nothing has become of me

--------------------------------------------------------

Exit sun
Enter rain
Remind me of my pain
Quiet night
Nothing's right
Deny me of my light
In my life
Leave it be
This darkness is for me
Overrun
Drown the sun
Let it rain

Once again
Here I am
It's all the same, again
Here I stand
All alone
Once again

I saw you there
I don't care
To see you anywhere
You are gone
So, so long
I was wrong

Once again
Here I am
It's all the same, again
Here I stand
All alone
Once again

Love you so
But I don't know
What to do so I'll just go
Leave in shame
Live in pain
Reminded by the rain
Overrun
Drown the sun
Let it rain

Once again
Here I am
It's all the same, again
Here I stand
All alone
Once again

Overrun
Drown the sun
Let it rain

daegoth @ 2005-01-30T00:48:00

2005-01-30T06:50:24Z

Personality Disorder Test Results

Paranoid |||||||||||| 50% 49%
Schizoid |||||||||||||||| 70% 53%
Schizotypal |||||||||||||||| 70% 53%
Antisocial |||||||||||||||||| 78% 47%
Borderline |||||||||||| 46% 47%
Histrionic |||||| 26% 43%
Narcissistic |||||||||| 34% 41%
Avoidant |||||| 30% 39%
Dependent |||| 14% 37%
Obsessive-Compulsive |||||| 30% 40%

The percentages farthest to the right are the average web scores.
The ones on the left are mine.

Good Music

2005-01-25T04:14:29Z

"Eyes of Wrath" - Testament

Eyes of wrath
The beast is on your back
Razorblade slice your neck
Slowly tear you down
Takes another life
To feed his bloody lust
Random crime spree attack
There's nothing random at all

Dead city nights
Another daughter's done
Another victim of circumstance
Took the wrong way home
Can you hear the screams
The music of the dead
A ritual of broken flesh
Annoints the silver blade

No one lives forever
There is no forever
And I'll tell you why
Rage, Rage soothes the pain
Pain, Pain soothes the rage
Lash out in anger
that never will chance
I can never escape
Rage, Rage Soothes the pain
Pain, Pain Soothes the rage
Rage, Pain

---------------------------------------------

"D.N.R." - Testament

Lies... broken dreams
Dismal past
is there more in life...
should I... know
Ending wars... ending pain
Ending of mankind is insane
and there's all the possibilities
some will fail and some will achieve
Even through in my youth
I didn't know but what can I do
and I may not ever see
In my pain, my suffering
Can not live for the rest of my life
DNR Do not resuscitate me...

Life... lost unseen
behind the mask
and with the open arms will I grasp
Open doors... open minds...
Ending all the madness I hate

And I may not ever see
In my pain, my Misery
Can not live for the rest of my life
DNR Do not resuscitate me... DNR...

Wing of sadness... will
hold my prayers
all this madness... will
end my fears
contempt in life
Conceptualize, wrong or right
The ending of life...
God save me now...

Time... end it now
No going back
Can you see the light as you pass
Ending wars, ending pain...
Waited all my life to be saves

And I will not ever see
All the hate and suffering
Can not live for the rest of my life
DNR Do not resuscitate me... DNR

-----------------------------------------------------

"The Human Bondage" - Angel Dust

Out of my darkness it's rising in me
Discover s the feelings hidden so deep
I lose myself
Affection for sadness and longing for pain
I is dividing - deciphers the madness
I loose myself
Oh - The human bondage
No way to control it
I have to obey
Just can't deny it - so deep inside me
I lose myself
My personal demon is linking the shades
I could never see
Now I know who I am
I see myself
Oh - The human bondage
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I am you
Oh - The human bondage

----------------------------------------------------

"Abysmal Descent" - Naglfar

In the black depths of my very soul
A vast emptiness lies so arcane and cold
Caressed by the icy touch of melancholy
Like the sweetest of poison it permeates me
No more love, no more life
I remain cold and dead deep inside
Through my ruptured veins I leave this cursed world of light
To embrace the infernal fire... and so I fall

Encircled by shadows as I descend
Portrayed in the most twisted of forms
Their vision are mine as they tear at my soul
Still my fate lies further below

Plunging down through these diabolical realms
A Stygian landscape of lost hopes and pain
I thrive on the haunted screams of the damned
Their laments are my requiem
Then I sense something deep down below
The grand lakes offire that calls for my souls
In a state of sheer rapture I descend into its flow
To be consumed by its hellish glow

Sprayed with burning sulphur, licked by scorching flames
Yet no regrets has passed my mind
No, none of my sins shall I ever repent
A lifetime filled with yearning has now come to an end
In these halls of pain I'm purified
My destiny's fulfilled through this abysmal descent

And so through the fires I finally set the abominations that's coming for me
I writhe with pleasure as I'm torn piece by piece, the sweet ecstasy of pure agony

And here I burn... forever burn...

daegoth @ 2005-01-23T19:58:00

2005-01-24T02:15:50Z

Just beat Resident Evil 4. Huzzah.

(Minor Game Spoiler Alert)
The final strike to the end boss is. once again, delivered with a rocket launcher. Or, in this case, the Rocket Launcher (Special).

They really need to switch the RE series up a bit. When I heard there weren't going to be any zombies in RE4 and the T- and G - Viruses would not play a part I was rather interested. I thought that would be nice. As it turns out, there are no zombies, just crazy spaniards that act just like zombies. And while the viruses do not make their way into the game, the Los Plagas does. So I suppose when they said there wouldn't be any zombies, they just meant they were changing the way the zombies looked. "It's not a zombie, it's a plague-infested Spaniard! See! New!"

Yeah. Great. There's even a bitchy, puny, pussy of a villain who speaks like he's been inhaling helium *cough*Code Veronica*cough*

Great game, though. Great great. Best graphics in any game that I've actually played.

Ada is hot.

daegoth @ 2005-01-23T12:54:00

2005-01-23T18:55:36Z

Virgin Black (ver-jin blak) : An anomalous harmony
between the juxtapositions of purity and humanity’s darkness.

And so there is nothing...

2005-01-23T07:10:37Z

I float endlessly through nothing like a burned out star, my existance never to be understood and the origin of the nothingness within me forever questioned by none but myself. There are times that I think myself to be nothing but ash upon a long forgotten funeral pyre. I feel as though I've been strangled by memories of days long past but not to be soon forgotten. I, the dead star, the scattered ashes, am too insignifigant even to myself to find the time to hear my thoughts.

When you feel yourself slipping away from all that you have when all that you have is nothing, you realize you've nothing to grip. At that moment you fall.

daegoth @ 2005-01-22T01:32:00

2005-01-22T07:56:05Z

FUCK ME
LOVE ME
WANT ME
KILL ME
BLEED ME
SEE ME
ANY WAY YOU WANT ME

I AM NOT YOUR ANYTHING
YOUR FUCK, YOUR LOVE, YOUR LITTLE FLING
THAT'S THE WAY IT ALWAYS WILL BE
LET'S GET DOWN AND LET'S GET DIRTY

HEY
WHAT'S YOUR NAME

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK
OKAY?!

SO HEY
LET'S US PLAY
IN A SICK, PERVERTED WAY

PULL THE SHADES
GRAB THE BLADES
'CAUSE TONIGHT WE'VE GOT IT MADE

RANDOM PILLS
BROKEN GLASS
AND THIS LOVELY PEICE OF ASS

SO LET'S CUT
THEN WE'LL BLEED
THEN WE'LL FUCK
THEN YOU'LL LEAVE

WHAT'S YOUR NAME
I DON'T CARE
'CAUSE YOU AREN'T SHIT TO ME

HEY
Let's get drunk...AND FUCK

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've reached a new low =D

daegoth @ 2005-01-21T23:38:00

2005-01-22T06:00:52Z

When you sit alone in your room at night, in the darkness, in the cold of life, the pain comes rushing. The suffocating smoke, screaming silence, and blinding darkness consume you. Looking to the ceiling, wishing for the comforting touch of a blade or the satisfying company of a hand gun. As the pain wrought within you rises, pushing out the tears to make room for it's home in your head, squeezing every last tear from your eyes until you've gone dry, you pray for the strength to bury your hands within yourself and tear your flesh, ripping yourself to nothing. And as you give up hope and fall through the dark down to your empty bed, the drums slowly start beating. Slowly, soon accompanied by the slow rolling thunder of the bass. As the guitar begins it's soft, solemn wail, your world spins and the vocals are in que. A deep voice from nowhere begins his sorrowful song. His tale of pain. Your world spins and the tears flow, your flesh screaming to be torn. You become certain that at any moment you will sink into nothingness and drown in the dark. You can already see yourself beneath the liquid black, looking up and seeing the world from below the waves of your drowning pool. Now you feel empty. The sobs have ended and the tears are dried. You lie in bed and stare into space with soulless eyes. You're certain you've stopped breathing. The music plays on in the background, the soundtrack to your emptiness. Your death. The world fades away, and the black washes over you.

daegoth @ 2005-01-08T22:52:00

2005-01-09T04:54:35Z

http://www.funpic.hu/swf/numanuma.html

daegoth @ 2005-01-08T20:15:00

2005-01-09T02:20:03Z

"Cry My Name" - Bloodbath

You will see
My burning inferno
And there is no way
In your wildest dreams
That you can say no

I suffocate your soul
And drain you of your lifeblood
The breathing darkness here
Will make you disappear
There is no return

I steal your soul
And carve a hole right where your heart once used to be
I watch you die
I hear you cry
It fills my soul with such delight

You are lost
You are entering a dead world
Wherever you will turn
You will see your spirit burn
Your life is over

Here in Death's dominion
Where even shadows die
I am the one almighty
YOU WILL CRY MY NAME
And when you seek forgiveness
You will see there is no god
And for all eternity
YOU WILL CRY MY NAME

You
Cry out

Now it's time to return
To the world up above
And invite you to burn

Oh, the ones that I seek
Are defenseless and weak
Soon their hearts will be mind

And no one can slip
From my powerful grip
I was born to deceive

The smell of your flesh
So rancid and fresh
It keeps me alive

daegoth @ 2005-01-01T21:53:00

2005-01-02T03:53:47Z

www.deadbabies.com

daegoth @ 2004-12-28T00:43:00

2004-12-28T06:51:09Z

Well...happy Jesus-Day =P

Got Halo 2. Beat it in 2 fuckin days. I must say that the story was kick-ass, but the game itself was...awesome and annoying.

Got a Bloodbath CD. Resurrection Through Carnage. Fucking great. Blood bath is awesome. It has Akerfeldt from Opeth, Anders Nystrom and Renkse from Katatonia, and Dan Swano from Nightingale.
And I got Slayer's EP, Haunting the Chapel. Pretty good.

Aside from that all I got was World of Warcraft which is the shit. Got my Paladin to lvl20 today. Hell yeah, biatch.

I haven't posted a song in months...I need to get one up here.

My friend is trying to buy my PS2 from me for 2oz. of weed o.

I love you all.

Terrorfyingly terrorfying

2004-12-12T06:56:35Z

Well, I just finished the DOOM 3 demo...
It was, by far, the most terrifying thing I had ever experienced.

For starters, the graphics, which were on low-quality mode, looked beautiul. Dynamic lighting and real-time shadows. Terrific character models. It was beautiful.

I start off looking for some scientist who has apparently gone mad or some shit like that. I walk around the Mars base getting familiar with the controls and learning some basic stuff. The Mars base itself is pretty creepy; All metal, very dark, and practically no open areas. It's pretty much a series of small, dark corridors. Well, I reach the scientist and he starts telling me about how he needs to contact the others to warn them of the evil to come. In front of him are two large monitors. As he's speaking the lights go out and the screens turn to static. Que terror. I look at the scientist, shrouded partially in shadow, and wait for something to happen. To my left a burning pentafram forms on the ground a energy begins to spiral out of it. From this pentagram and orange, transperant skull forms and flies into one of the large monitors in front of the scientist. I look at the monitor and the static has been replaced with a view of another orange skull flying through another marine. The marine's cheeks sink in, his eyes change, and his skin becomes pale grey. As I'm watching, the skull the flew into the monitor flies back out and through the scientist. The scientist is lifted from the ground momentarilly, then begins to slump towards me, moaning painfully. I shoot him in his face a few times and run for the door. Lights flicker and the air is filled with the sound of explosions, crashes, and a demonic laughter. Possesed marine after possessed marine sulk towards me, some toting pistols, some with wrenches, some with shotguns. Ammo low and health dwindling I blast through demon after demon in the dank Mars base. My com unit proves to function as nothing more than a link between me and the screams of the other marines being mutilated by the demonic horde. Everywhere I go I find blood-smeared walls and body parts.

This game makes Resident Evil seem like Army of Darkness; Bad special effects and kinda funny.

I'm gonna go do some fuckin' crack so I don't go to sleep and have terrible, terrible nightmares about this shit.

Having seen the wrath of Hell...
I now wish more than ever to be able to unleash them ;-;

But yeah. DOOM 3 is fuckin' scary.

daegoth @ 2004-12-09T17:46:00

2004-12-09T23:49:06Z

Heute treff ich einen Herrn
Der hat mich zum fressen gern
Weiche Teile und auch harte
Stehen auf der Speisekarte

Denn du bist was du isst
Und ihr wisst was es ist

Es ist mein Teil (nein)
Mein Teil (nein)
Denn das ist mein Teil (nein)
Mein Teil (nein)

Die stumpfe Klinge gut und recht
Ich blute stark und mir ist schlecht
Muss ich auch mit der Ohnmacht kämpfen
Ich esse weiter unter Krämpfen
Ist doch so gut gewürzt, und so schön flambiert
Und so liebevoll auf Porzellan serviert
Dazu ein guter Wein und zarter Kerzenschein
Ja, da lass ich mir Zeit, etwas Kultur muss sein

Denn du bist was du isst
Und ihr wisst was es ist

Es ist mein Teil (nein)
Mein Teil (nein)
Denn das ist mein Teil (nein)
Yes it's mein Teil (nein)

Ein Schrei wird zum Himmel fahrn
Schneidet sich durch Engelsscharen
Vom Wolkendach fällt Federfleisch
Auf meine Kindheit mit Gekreisch

Es ist mein Teil (nein)
Mein Teil (nein)
Denn das ist mein Teil (nein)
Yes it's mein Teil (nein)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Be a friend to harikari, for it is a friend to you.

Vader.
Behemoth.
Drugged up love.

daegoth @ 2004-12-06T19:07:00

2004-12-07T01:09:44Z

FUCK
YOU!

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FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!

GO TO HELL! GO TO HELL AND ROT YOU COCK-SUCKING CUM-SPONGE!
AAAHHHHH!
SHUT THE FUCK UP AND
GO
TO
HELL!

I HATE YOU!

DIE!

LEAVE ME ALONE!

I

DO

NOT

LIKE

YOU!

daegoth @ 2004-11-30T22:30:00

2004-12-01T04:32:50Z

I've come to realize something....
Testament may very well be my favorite band. If not, they're just under Slayer. Barely.

Chuck Billy (laugh if you want) has the most incredible vocals. *love*

If anyone wants to hear this vicous man rip up some vocals, send me an IM and I'll send you a nice MP3.

LONG LIVE TESTAMENT, MOTHERFUCKERS!

XD